the way He teaches...

GOD likes to continually teach His children, so they will grow and mature. Sometimes, the lessons are taught by another believer, those around us, or words we read. Either in prayer, or reading the Word teaches us also. But there are times lessons must be taught with a firmer hand, or harsh circumstances that He allows. At times the point of the lesson is clear from the beginning, other times it takes a while to permeate our skulls...
GOD is sovereign and His way is perfect. Whatever happens, He teaches us and shows us more of Himself; only if we are willing to watch and listen very carefully. One situation in my case- I knew of a move in my life and was excited to see where it would take me. It happened and the reasons for the change have become very apparent. They are so far out of the scope that I had imagined or 'planned' for my life.
 But His ways are best, and I see that more everyday. Another situation I can think of, I'm fairly certain I know the reason and lesson(s) to be learned, but I have to wait... because GOD is not at all 'predictable' to us. And His ways hardly ever match up to 'normal'.
But I have to say I love the adventure of it all! ( Even if it hurts...literally )

prayer, learning how to persevere

Prayer is one of the most vital elements of my faith and everyday life. It must be for believers in Jesus Christ. There is not enough emphasis on prayer in the church today. It seems the true power of prayer has been forgotten, as our immediate needs and desires are covered with all the 'instant' or 'on-the-go' products and lifestyle, especially prevalent in the West. It seems because our wants and needs are so immediately filled, we don't feel a need to 'bother' GOD about whatever is left to ask for. How arrogant we are, that we think we can do it on our own... a lie so easily believed, unfortunately.
 Prayer is learned habit, and also we must learn how to pray, Jesus Himself gives us instructions.Matthew 6:6;9-13.
 "Jesus replied, 'I tell you the truth if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but you also can say to this mountain,'go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:21-22 italics mine. (also see Mark 11:22-25)
'Do not doubt'... that is a tall order. How many times do we hesitate because we doubt, how many times could we have done great good in His name if we had but believed.
Prayer, true persevering, interceding prayer is difficult. It is a battle sometimes for someone, or a place. When you pray, you may be going against the Enemy and he has dominion of this earth.
Praying is like swimming laps...at first you may go quickly, but on tiring you slow down. The longer you swim the longer your muscles have to stretch and pull, the longer you have to concentrate on you breathing, and the longer you must stay in your lane, going straight. I know for me, if I'm swimming when the temperature of the water changes from warm to cold, it's like a hitting a wall. I have to push, and concentrate, knowing that if I keep swimming I will reach the end.
The same with prayer, sometimes you have to pray until you get the answer or something changes. You have to pray in faith and know you are praying in the power of Jesus Christ, who Himself intercedes on our behalf.
The Holy Spirit reveals to us what we must pray for or what words to use; there are times where I've spoken but cannot recall the words, because they weren't mine.
I am still learning how to pray. If you haven't swam laps, even after a few weeks, you have to work up to the rate and strength you had before. With prayer we must constantly be using it, if we don't we will fall out of practice, and begin to lose strength. Prayer is so important, it brings us to a deeper intimacy with the LORD, He reveals Himself through prayer and His Word; so it naturally follows that we must read and pray, daily, to know Him better.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

a time to heal...a time to weep...

It's hard to look at yourself, as if with a mirror, and see things that make you uncomfortable or sad. Things maybe in your character or memories you'd like to forget.
 Sometimes memories are not meant to be forgotten. There are, at times, emotions tied to these memories, emotions that we wish to keep locked inside, to remain dormant deep down for always. But those emotions, the hurts and fears that are the issue, are not meant to be suppressed. I almost wish they were for the difficulty and uncomfortable feeling that comes from the emotions that are uncovered.
But GOD is a Healer and Comforter, a Counselor and Friend. I am so thankful my GOD never changes, He is the same now as He ever was and ever will be. Only He can truly heal, and He is the perfect companion to travel on the difficult path of healing. He even holds the tears we cry. What an awesome GOD!

thankful for Him

It is amazing to me to be so physically tired, somewhat grumpy, feeling like complaining all the day long... but still feel no anxiety or unrest within. I am thankful that I have a constant Companion who is closer than a friend; who understands my weaknesses and forgives my selfish feelings.
I know that it is because I am tired I feel these things, but it doesn't help them go away, only to make me feel bad for feeling them.
I can only pray. I know He hears me. Thank you, GOD for Your patience with me and Your unfailing love!

what if...

What if? It's a question that can be applied to any situation, and can have many answers. it can be a good question, pushing your thoughts and comfort zone to new and exciting places. But it can be a distracting question as well. It can come up at random times, and it can be a distraction from your focus, and an ill use of your time. GOD gave us minds to use and glorify Him in their use and ideas, but He also asks us to have self-control (it's a fruit of the Spirit, and doesn't come naturally to me) in our lives, even our thoughts, though only you and GOD are privy to their content. Because I think a lot, of many different, and sometimes insignificant things, I must really use self-control to bring my thoughts back to where they should be and not daydream. I love to imagine, and to think different scenarios, because I like to write stories and that's what I write. But there is a time and place for daydreaming and imagining. I just need to learn how to keep my thoughts under control.
But asking what if, that sets me off in so many directions, a lot of time it has to do with my life, not stories, which can be a distraction in my real life. I have to remember that what I'm living is my life, an original and that I must live it wisely if it's to have a great ending.
And that's what I want, to have a great ending, but that can only be written by the Author of life itself. I must everyday give Him the pen of my story, and follow His steps, and trust wherever He leads me is for my good and His glory. I pray one day He will be proud of the story I had, and I pray you too will have a great story written by the same Author.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 4:32-5:2
The words of our mouths should be few, letting careful thought proceed each word. Ask GOD before you speak to be sure it is His will, not yours, that will be glorified. Be patient and wait for the LORDs guidance in every thought and action. Let your actions always be to the glory of GOD, for anything less is meaningless.
GOD created life so our lives belong to Him.
Be patient with others for you know they are as human and full of faults as yourself. Be slow to anger, for anger leads to sinful thoughts and actions. Let forgiveness, not anger, have prominence, for that is what GOD desires. Forgive, because those who hurt or disappoint are imperfect, and you ask the same of them. You will have a calmer, happier life when there is no anger in your heart. Forgive imperfection, yet strive for holiness and perfection through Christ, so we will be found righteous in GOD's eyes.

a favorite hymn

Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.


 Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.
                                       AMEN

Sometimes all I want to say has been said before, by someone more eloquent and wise. All I need to do is sing the words that were written so many years ago.

the beauty of confession between believers

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the LORD will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is porwerful and effective." James 5:15-16

I have not confessed before anyone but GOD and my parents before. But as I continually long to follow GOD's Word in everything I felt that I needed to speak to a fellow believer. It was not any offense against them or any person. It was a personal struggle that I felt GOD wished me to share with someone I know is trustworthy. I felt a pressure in my chest, a quickening of my heart, during prayer with other believers as we took communion. I knew the feeling; conviction and the touch of His Spirit. I asked him to keep pressing until I told what I needed to; that there would be immediate peace afterwards as a sign of His will being done. And it happened. They prayed with me, and I felt a release and calm in my spirit. Now I have a prayer partner in my need and accountability. This is why He wanted us to live in unity and confess to each other and GOD. He knew it is easier to deal with sin and struggles together. I am not alone in my struggles and my flesh, and they will only be over when Christ returns in glory... but it is nice to know how much He cares for my personal growth and faith.

blessings

GOD has blessed me. I am aware of that fact. It seems, though, that I let the fact fall to the wayside, push the thought away. I should always remember, and be thankful.
I am having such an amazing time, as I serve GOD where I am. It is full of new situations and new people, new culture, and new service. It is amazing and frightening at times. I think of what I could do wrong, how I can or might mess up my work. But fear is not of GOD, nor is it how He would have His children live. He inspires a fearful reverence, but only the Enemy deals out fear. I know that I am where He wants me, I trust He will guide me as I take each step in faith and as I wait on His will and word.
I have never felt His presence as I have here. I don't know why. I don't want it to change. I feel a Comfort in my spirit and a calming Presence at all times, even as I write this. ...like a constant hug, deep inside... Thank You, LORD, for always being with me as You promised. I love You.

"Come." He said.

"When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. 'It's a ghost!' they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them,
'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.'
'LORD, if it's You,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to You on the water.' 
'Come.' He said. "  Matthew 14:26-29
All Jesus said was 'come'. All Peter had to do was look at, and focus on Jesus; not the wind, not the rain, or the waves around him. But when he looked anywhere other than Christ, he began to sink. (Matthew 14:29-31) But He was and is always quick to answer our cry for help (Matt. 14:30-31)
It is easy to be distracted by the 'storm' around us. Easy to listen to the loud voices of those around us, to society today, instead of the one Voice that matters.
He may not tell you where, what or how; but if He says come, all you have to do is go. Look only at His face, listen only to His voice. I pray we may all know our Shepherd's voice, and follow Him alone.